What if I find it hard to say “I love and accept myself”?

Self acceptance is key to being able to make changes and move forward in our lives. The second half of the EFT set-up statement consists of the positive affirmation “I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” (or something similar). However, particularly when first starting to use EFT, some people find it difficult to feel and/or say that they love and accept themselves.

If the affirmation “I deeply and completely love and accept myself” feels too emotionally charged for you to use, you can shorten or change it. For example:

  • I accept myself.
  • I accept how I feel.
  • I honour my feelings [and where they’re coming from].
  • I accept myself, even if I don’t!
  • It is safe for me to [love and] accept myself [now].
  • I’m open to being able to [love and] accept myself.
  • I would like to [deeply and completely love and] accept myself.
  • I’m learning to [deeply and completely love and] accept myself.

 

In addition, you can tap on finding it difficult to say the affirmation. You could start with a set-up statement such as “Even though I find it hard to say I love and accept myself, I accept how I feel.” Then continue with the reminder phrase “I find it hard to say I love and accept myself.” See if doing a round or two like this takes the edge off your resistance.

One reason why someone might not like saying “I deeply and completely love and accept myself” is because part of them doesn’t believe that they do and their inner voice of doubt raises an objection such as “Are you kidding?” There are two things to say here. Firstly, identifying the reasons why you don’t believe that you love and accept yourself can provide useful targets to explore through EFT. Secondly, you don’t have to believe the affirmation for it to work. Even if it feels completely untrue now, there is surely a part of you that hopes that it may become true. So, if you can stand to say the affirmation, even though you don’t yet believe it, it will have a positive effect. It is also likely to become easier to say that you love and accept yourself the more you practise doing so! When we start to accept ourselves as we are, our resistance begins to fall away and, consequently, moving towards change becomes easier.

 

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